Every divorce affects the young person, and many times the initial reaction is one of shock, sadness, frustration, anger, or worry. Adults going through separation and divorce also need support. Sometimes stress that your child experiences can be observed in their behaviours e.g. at school, with friends, or in changes to their appetite, behaviour or sleep patterns.

Seeking a professional psychologist at this time can help you and your child navigate the difficult emotions that may need to be processed as part of adjusting to parents separating.

Do you think your child needs help during a divorce?

If you think your child may need a hand in coping with divorce, please contact Flourishing Life Psychology today to make an appointment for a confidential assessment on 0433 905 239 or email.

Signs & Symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder?

Children with ASD often have problems with:

• body language and eye contact
• social interactions
• building and maintaining relationships
• sensory input
• rigid behaviour
• intense and unusual interests

In toddlers, parents might notice:

• delayed speech
• using only a few gestures (waving, clapping, pointing)
• not responding when someone calls their name
• avoiding eye contact
• not sharing enjoyment or interests with others
• unusual ways of moving the hands, fingers, or whole body
• being very focused or attached to unusual objects
• little to no imitating of others or pretending
• unusual sensory interests
• rituals such as repeating things over and over or lining up objects

Milder symptoms may not be recognised until a child is older and has problems with:

• forming friendships
• pretend play
• knowing how to act in different social situations
• unusual, intense interests in specific topics or activities

No two people with ASD have the same signs and symptoms. Many things can play a role, such as language delays, thinking and learning problems, and behavioural challenges. For this reason, autism is described as a “spectrum.”

What Causes ASD?

The exact cause of ASD is unknown. It’s likely that many different things in combination lead to changes in the way the brain develops before a baby is born. The strongest evidence supports the role of a person’s genes. Other things, such as problems during pregnancy or at birth, might play a role. Many children with ASD also have an intellectual disability.

Do you think your child may have ASD?

If you think your child may have ASD, please contact Flourishing Life Psychology today to make an appointment for a confidential assessment on 0433 905 239 or email.

Signs that your child/teen may be depressed include:

• Appearing extremely depressed
• Significant weight loss or weight gain
• Insomnia or sleeping too much
• Being physically agitated and constantly moving (although some people with depression don’t want to move at all.)
• Fatigue
• Feelings of worthlessness, or feeling guilty for anything and everything
• Being overly indecisive, having difficulty concentrating, or not wanting to think about anything
• Feeling like life would be better if they were dead.
• May not want to go to school

How common is depression in young people?

Depression is relatively uncommon in pre-adolescent children – studies indicate somewhere around 1-2 percent.

Adolescents appear to experience depression at similar rates to adults. Close to 20% of us will experience depression at some point in our lives, with around 5-6 percent of our teens (and us) having a clinically depressive episode in any given year. Our daughters are particularly vulnerable, with research indicating depression is twice as likely to affect females than males.

What causes depression?

Most research supports the model that states people have a biological or psychological predisposition to depression, which combines with stressful life events (environment) to leave us feeling depressed. The stressful life events will vary from person to person, but might include loss, being rejected, failing or being humiliated. While many of us experience these things regularly with no depressive outcomes, some people (and teens) develop inadequate or ineffective coping strategies. This can then spiral into negative thinking, and depression occurs.

Grief – coping with death

When a loved one dies young people often feel and show their grief in different ways. How kids cope with the loss depends on things like their age, how close they felt to the person who died, and the support they receive.

Has Experienced A Disaster

Children and adolescents are emotionally vulnerable to their experiences during a disaster. However, a child’s reaction to a disaster varies widely depending on circumstances such as:

• The extent of exposure to the event
• The amount of support during the disaster and its aftermath and
• The amount of personal loss and social disruption.

In addition, the child’s response and adaptation are influenced by the child’s developmental stage and degree of dependency on adults.
Identification of intense and problematic responses to disasters need to be followed by adequate support and treatment, according to the emotional needs and developmental stage of each child.

Do you think your child struggles with Depression?

If you think your child or teen is exhibiting depressive symptoms, needs support relating to grief or having experienced a disaster, please contact Flourishing Life Psychology today to make an appointment for a confidential assessment on 0433 905 239 or email.

A Parent’s Role

Managing kids can be a challenge. Some days keeping the peace while keeping your cool seems impossible. Whether you’re reacting to an occasional temper flare-up or a pattern of outbursts. Managing your own anger when things get heated will make it easier to teach kids to do the same.

Kids whose temper outbursts are routine might lack the self-control necessary to dealwith frustration and anger and need more help managing their emotions.

Coping Strategies for Kids

It’s important for young people to learn that it’s not OK to yell, hit, and throw stuff when they’re upset and need other strategies for calming down when they’re angry.

Building a Strong Foundation

Fortunately, really angry episodes don’t happen too often for most kids. Those with temper troubles often have an active, strong-willed style and extra energy that needs to be discharged.

Most young people can learn to get better at handling anger and frustration but if your child often gets into fights and arguments with friends, siblings, and adults, it may be an important time to consult with a psychologist about the situation.

Behaviour Problems, tantrums, parenting skills

Temper tantrums can be frustrating for any parent but instead of looking at them as disasters, treat tantrums as opportunities for education.

Why Kids Have Tantrums

Temper tantrums range from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath holding. They’re equally common in boys and girls and usually happen between the ages of 1 to 3. Some kids may have tantrums often, and others have them rarely. Tantrums are a normal part of child development. They’re how young children show that they’re upset or frustrated.

Tantrums may happen when kids are tired, hungry, or uncomfortable. They can have a meltdown because they can’t get something (like a toy or a parent) to do what they want. Learning to deal with frustration is a skill that children gain over time.

Tantrums are common during the second year of life, when language skills are starting to develop. Because toddlers can’t yet say what they want, feel, or need, a frustrating experience may cause a tantrum. As language skills improve, tantrums tend to decrease. Toddlers want independence and control over their environment — more than they can actually handle. This can lead to power struggles as a child thinks “I can do it myself” or “I want it, give it to me.” When kids discover that they can’t do it and can’t have everything they want, they may have a tantrum.

As a parent it may be time to seek support and/or to gain some parenting skills if:

• You often feel angry or out of control when you respond to tantrums.
• You keep giving in.
• The tantrums cause a lot of bad feelings between you and your child.
• You have questions about what you’re doing or what your child is doing.
• The tantrums become more frequent, intense, or last longer.
• Your child often hurts himself/herself or others.
• Your child seems very disagreeable, argues a lot, and hardly ever cooperates.

Additional health problems may add to the tantrums, although this is not common. Sometimes, hearing or vision problems, a chronic illness, language delays, or a learning disability can make young people more likely to have tantrums.

Do you think your child/teen struggles with behavior or emotional regulation?

If you think your child or teen has a behaviour or emotional regulation problems contact Flourishing Life Psychology today to make an appointment for a confidential assessment on
0433 905 239 or email.

Anorexia

People with anorexia:

• Eat very little on purpose. This leads to a very low body weight.
• Have an intense fear of weight gain. They fear looking fat.
• Have a distorted body image. They see themselves as fat even when they are very thin.

People with anorexia are very strict about what and how much they will eat. They may think about food or calories almost all the time. To lose weight, some people with anorexia fast or exercise too much. Others may use laxatives, diuretics, or enemas.

Bulimia

People with bulimia:

• Overeat and feel too out of control to stop. This is called binge eating.
• Do things to make up for overeating. They may make themselves throw up on purpose after they overeat. This is called purging. To prevent weight gain they may use laxatives, diuretics, weight loss pills, fast, or exercise a lot.
• Judge themselves based on body shape and weight

People with bulimia eat much more (during a set period of time) than most people would. If a person regularly binges and purges, it may be a sign of bulimia. Unlike people with anorexia who are very low weight, people with bulimia may be thin, average weight, or overweight. People with bulimia often hide their eating and purging from others.

Binge eating

People with binge eating disorder:

• Overeat and feel too out of control to stop. This is called binge eating.
• Eat large amounts even when they are not hungry
• May feel upset or guilty after binge eating
• Often gain weight, and may become very overweight

Many people with binge eating disorder eat faster than normal. They may eat alone so others don’t see how much they are eating. Unlike people with bulimia, those with binge eating disorder do not make themselves throw up, use laxatives, or exercise a lot to make up for binge eating. If a person binge eats at least once a week for 3 months, it may be a sign of binge eating disorder.

ARFID

People with avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID):

• Are not interested in food or avoid foods
• Lose weight, or don’t gain the expected amount of weight
• Are not afraid of gaining weight
• Don’t have a poor body image

People with ARFID don’t eat because they are turned off by the smell, taste, texture, or colour of food. They may be afraid that they will choke or vomit. They don’t have anorexia, bulimia, or another medical problem that would explain their eating behaviors.

How Do Eating Disorders Affect Health and Emotions?

Eating disorders can cause serious problems throughout the body. Anorexia can lead to health problems caused by undernutrition and low body weight, such as:

• Low blood pressure
• Slow or irregular heartbeats
• Feeling tired, weak, dizzy, or faint
• Constipation and bloating
• Irregular periods
• Weak bones
• Delayed puberty and slow growth

People with anorexia may find it hard to focus and have trouble remembering things. Mood changes and emotional problems can include:

• Feeling alone, sad, or depressed
• Anxiety and fears about gaining weight
• Thoughts of hurting themselves

Bulimia can lead to health problems caused by vomiting, laxatives, and diuretics, such as:

• Low blood pressure
• Irregular heartbeats
• Feeling tired, weak, dizzy, or faint
• Blood in vomit or stool (poop)
• Tooth erosion and cavities
• Swollen cheeks (salivary glands)

People with bulimia may exhiibit emotional problems such as:

• Low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression
• Alcohol or drug problems
• Thoughts of hurting themselves

Binge eating can lead to weight-related health problems, such as:

• Diabetes
• High blood pressure
• High cholesterol and triglycerides
• Fatty liver
• Sleep apnea

People with binge eating disorder may:

• Have low self-esteem, anxiety, or depression
• Feel alone, out of control, angry, or helpless
• Have trouble coping with strong emotions or stressful events

ARFID may lead to health problems that stem from poor nutrition, similar to anorexia. People with ARFID may:

• Not get enough vitamins, minerals, and protein
• Need tube feeding and nutrition supplements
• Grow poorly

People with ARFID are more likely to exhibit:

• Anxiety or obsessive compulsive disorcer (OCD)
• Autism spectrum disorder or attention deficit disorder (ADHD)
• Problems at home and school because of eating behavior

What Causes Eating Disorders?

There’s no single cause for eating disorders. Genes, environment, and stressful events all play a role. Some things can increase a person’s chance of having an eating disorder, such as:

• Poor body image
• Too much focus on weight or looks
• Dieting at a young age
• Playing sports that focus on weight (gymnastics, ballet, ice skating, and wrestling)
• Having a family member with an eating disorder
• Mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, or OCD

Early warning signs to watch for are:

• Changes in diet, such as low-carb, low-fat, or vegetarian diets
• Frequent trips to the bathroom, especially during or after meals
• Eating alone
• Increased physical activity

At Flourishing Life Psycholgoy we also help parents with

Restricted, fussy eating

It can be frustrating when children’s pickiness about food becomes a source of mealtime tension or when they want to eat the same thing every day – but it’s not uncommon. Some children get stuck on a favourite food while others complain they don’t like certain foods, like vegetables.

Weight management

A balanced diet and an active lifestyle can help all children and teens maintain a healthy weight.

Do you think your child/teen has problems with food or eating habits?

If you think your child or teen struggles with certain foods or has developed abnormal eating habits contact Flourishing Life Psychology today to make an appointment for a confidential assessment on
0433 905 239 or email.

These fears might include whether:

• they, or someone else, will get sick, hurt, or die
• they said a bad word, had a bad thought, or made a mistake
• they have broken a rule, done a bad thing, or sinned
• something is clean, dirty, or germy
• something is straight, even, or ordered in an exact way
• something is lucky or unlucky, bad or good, safe or harmful

What Are Compulsions?

Compulsions are behaviours that kids with OCD do repeatedly. OCD causes children to feel they have to do rituals to “make sure” things are clean, safe, in order, even, or just right. To kids with OCD, rituals seem to have the power to prevent bad things from happening.

Rituals include things like:

• washing and cleaning
• often erasing things, re-writing, re-doing, or re-reading
• repeating a word, phrase, or question much more than necessary
• going in and out of doorways several times in a row
• checking to make sure a light is off, a door is locked, or checking and re-checking homework
• touching or tapping a certain number of times, or a set way
• having things in a specific order
• counting to a certain ‘good’ number, avoiding “unlucky” numbers

Why Do People Get OCD?

Scientists don’t yet know why people get OCD, but they know biological factors play a role. There may be differences in brain structures and brain activity in people with OCD. But whatever caused OCD, it’s not the child’s or parent’s fault.

What Might Parents Notice?

Many young people have OCD for a while before parents, teachers, or doctors pick up on it. Parents might only learn about the OCD if their child tells them, or if they notice the child seems overly worried or is partaking in behaviours that seem like rituals.

Sometimes, parents may notice other difficulties that can be a result of OCD. For example, OCD can cause children to:

• have trouble concentrating on schoolwork, or enjoying activities
• feel and act irritable, upset, sad, or anxious
• seem unsure of whether things are OK
• have trouble deciding or choosing
• take much too long to do everyday tasks, like getting dressed, organising a backpack, completing homework, or taking a shower
• get upset and lose their temper if they can’t make something perfect or if something is out of place
• insist that a parent say or do something an exact way

Skin picking, Hair pulling, Nail biting

Many young people have habits. Four of the most common are:

• Nail biting
• Hair twirling
• Nose picking
• Thumb sucking

Although these habits may bother or even worry you, relax. In most cases, a habit is just a phase in the normal developmental process and is not cause for alarm.

What’s a Habit?

A habit is a pattern of behaviour that’s repeated, and the child doing it usually isn’t even aware of it.

And if your little one usually has one hand stuffed in the mouth and the other entwined in the hair, don’t be surprised: Habits tend to happen in clusters.

Here’s the lowdown on the most common habits among kids and teens:

Nail Biting

If chewed nails are familiar to you, you’re not alone. Nail biting or picking is one of the most common childhood habits. An estimated 30% to 60% of children and teens chew on one or more fingernails. Occasionally, a child may also bite his or her toenails. Boys and girls appear equally prone to the habit in earlier years; however, as they get older, boys are more likely to be nail biters.

Hair Twirling

If one of your kids is a hair twirler, odds are it’s your daughter. Most kids who twist, stroke, or pull their hair are girls. Hair twirling may appear in early childhood as a precursor to hair pulling, either with or without hair loss. But many hair twirlers and pullers stop as they get older. For those who don’t, simple behaviour modification can help them break the habit. However, for those who start hair pulling as older children or teens, the habit is harder to break and may be a sign of anxiety, depression, or obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).

Nose Picking

Nose picking appears to be a habit that, while it usually begins in childhood, may actually linger into adulthood.

Thumb Sucking

Children’s preference for thumbs as the finger to suck is thought to be the result of the thumb coming into contact with the mouth during movements they made as infants. Some kids also suck their fingers, hands, or their entire fists in addition to, or instead of, their thumbs.

Most thumb suckers are younger children and up to half of 2- to 4-year-olds suck their thumbs. Many kids suck their thumbs to calm and comfort themselves. But frequent or intense thumb sucking beyond 4 to 5 years of age can cause problems, including dental issues (such as an overbite), thumb or finger infections, and being teased.

What Causes a Habit?

Experts aren’t always sure what causes a habit, but do know that they’re learned behaviours that usually provide a positive outcome for the child.

Habits may develop as entertainment for a bored child or, more commonly as a coping mechanism to self soothe. The next time you see nail biting or hair twirling, try to recall if your child has recently had a stressful experience. If so, the behaviour might be your child’s attempt to relieve tension. On the other hand, some children engage in habits when they’re relaxed, such as before falling to sleep or quietly listening to music.

Some habits may be leftovers from infancy. In infants, thumb sucking is a common self-comfort behaviour that has pleasurable associations with feedings and the end of hunger which may linger into childhood because of its positive associations. Studies suggest that nail biting may have a strong familial or genetic component.

When Is a Habit No Longer Just a Habit?

In some cases, a habit is the result or the cause of a physical or
psychological problem e.g.

• nosebleeds in the nose picker
• ingrown or infected nails in the nail biter
• dental problems such as malocclusion (the failure of the teeth in the upper and lower jaws to meet properly) or thumb or finger infections in the thumb sucker.

A habit may no longer be a simple habit if it negatively affects a child’s social relationships or interferes with daily functioning.

Older kids who constantly suck their thumb might be experiencing significant stress or anxiety. If children are the subject of teasing at school or have difficulty talking because they won’t take their thumbs out of their mouths, the behaviour has gone beyond a simple habit. Children who pull their hair out may have trichotillomania, a condition that results in hair loss. And habits that are in response to obsessive thoughts may be a sign of OCD.

Do you think your child/teen exhibits symptoms of OCD?

If you think your child or teen is exhibiting OCD behaviors contact Flourishing Life Psychology today to make an appointment for a confidential assessment on
0433 905 239 or email.

Virtual relationships

Addiction to social networking, dating apps, texting, and messaging can extend to the point where virtual, online friends become more important than real-life relationships. While the Internet can be a great place to meet new people, reconnect with old friends, or even start romantic relationships, online relationships are not a healthy substitute for real-life interactions. Online friendships can be appealing as they tend to exist in a bubble, not subject to the same demands or stresses as messy, real-world relationships. Compulsive use of dating apps can change your focus to short-term hook-ups instead of developing longer-term relationships.

Information overload

Compulsive web surfing, watching videos, playing games, or checking news feeds can lead to lower productivity at work or school and isolate you for hours at a time. Compulsive use of the Internet and smartphone apps can cause you to neglect other aspects of your life, from real-world relationships to hobbies and social pursuits.

Cybersex addiction

Compulsive use of Internet pornography, sexting, nude-swapping, or adult messaging services can impact negatively on your real-life intimate relationships and overall emotional health. While online pornography and cybersex addictions are types of sexual addiction, the Internet makes it more accessible, relatively anonymous, and very convenient. It’s easy to spend hours engaging in fantasies impossible in real life. Excessive use of dating apps that facilitate casual sex can make it more difficult to develop long-term intimate relationships or damage an existing relationship.

Online compulsions, such as gaming, gambling, stock trading, online shopping, or bidding on auction sites like eBay can often lead to financial and job-related problems. While gambling addiction has been a well-documented problem for years, the availability of Internet gambling has made gambling far more accessible. Compulsive stock trading or online shopping can be just as financially and socially damaging. eBay addicts may wake up at strange hours in order to be online for the last remaining minutes of an auction. You may purchase things you don’t need and can’t afford just to experience the excitement of placing the winning bid.

Causes and effects of smartphone and Internet addiction

While you can experience impulse-control problems with a laptop or desktop computer, the size and convenience of smartphones and tablets means that we can take them just about anywhere and gratify our compulsions at any time. In fact, most of us are rarely ever more
than five feet from our smartphones. Like the use of drugs and alcohol, they can trigger the release of brain chemicals that alter your mood. You can also rapidly build up tolerance so that it takes more and more time in front of these screens to derive the same pleasurable reward. Heavy smartphone use can often be symptomatic of other underlying problems, such as stress, anxiety, depression, or loneliness. At the same time, it can also exacerbate these problems. If you use your smartphone as a “security blanket” to relieve feelings of anxiety,
loneliness, or awkwardness in social situations, for example, you’ll succeed only in cutting yourself off further from people around you. Staring at your phone will deny you the face-to-face interactions that can help to meaningfully connect you to others, alleviate anxiety, and
boost your mood. In other words, the remedy you’re choosing for your anxiety (engaging with your smartphone), is actually making your anxiety worse.

Smartphone or Internet addiction can also negatively impact your life by:

Increasing loneliness and depression

While it may seem that losing yourself online will temporarily make feelings such as loneliness, depression, and boredom evaporate into thin air, it can actually make you feel even worse. A 2014 study found a correlation between high social media usage and depression and anxiety. Users, especially teens, tend to compare themselves unfavourably with their peers on social media, promoting feelings of loneliness and depression.

Fuelling anxiety

One researcher found that the mere presence of a phone in a work place tends to make people more anxious and perform poorly on given tasks. The heavier a person’s phone use, the greater the anxiety they experienced.

Increasing stress

Using a smartphone for work often means work bleeds into your homeand personal life. You feel the pressure to always be on, never out of touch from work. This need to continually check and respond to email can contribute to higher stress levels and even burnout.

Exacerbating attention deficit disorders

The constant stream of messages and information from a smartphone can overwhelm the brain and make it impossible to focus attention on any one thing for more than a few minutes without feeling compelled to move on to something else.

Diminishing your ability to concentrate and think deeply or creatively. The persistent buzz, ping or beep of your smartphone can distract you from important tasks, slow your work, and interrupt those quiet moments that are so crucial to creativity and problem solving. Instead of ever being alone with our thoughts, we’re now always online and connected.

Disturbing your sleep

Excessive smartphone use can disrupt your sleep, which can have a serious impact on your overall mental health. It can impact your memory, affect your ability to think clearly, and reduce your cognitive and learning skills.

Encouraging self-absorption

A UK study found that people who spend a lot of time on social media are more likely to display negative personality traits such as narcissism. Snapping endless selfies, posting all your thoughts or details about your life can create an unhealthy self-centeredness, distancing you from real-life relationships and making it harder to cope with stress.

Signs and symptoms of smartphone addiction

There is no specific amount of time spent on your phone, or the frequency you check for updates, or the number of messages you send or receive that indicates an addiction or overuse problem.

Spending a lot of time connected to your phone only becomes a problem when it absorbs so much of your time it causes you to neglect your face-to-face relationships, your work, school, hobbies, or other important things in your life. If you find yourself ignoring friends over lunch to read Facebook updates or compulsively checking your phone in while driving or during school lectures, then it’s time to reassess your smartphone use and strike a healthier balance in your life.

Warning signs of smartphone or Internet overuse include:

• Trouble completing tasks at work or home
• Isolation from family and friends
• Concealing your smartphone use
• Having a fear of missing out
• Feeling of dread, anxiety, or panic if you leave your smartphone at home, the battery runs down or the operating system crashes.

Withdrawal symptoms from smartphone addiction

A common warning sign of smartphone or Internet addiction is experiencing withdrawal symptoms when you try to cut back on your smartphone use. These may include:

• Restlessness
• Anger or irritability
• Difficulty concentrating
• Sleep problems
• Craving access to your smartphone or other device

Social Media addiction

Most young people today use some form of social media and have a profile on a social networking site. Many visit these sites every day. There are plenty of good things about social media but there are also many risks and things children and teens should avoid. Young people don’t always make good choices when they post something to a site, and this can lead to problems.

Spending too much time on social media can lead to feelings of sadness and isolation e.g. comparing yourself to seeing how many “friends” others have and the pictures of them having fun, can make young people feel bad about themselves or like they don’t measure up to their peers.

What’s Good About Social Media

Social media can help young people:

• Stay connected with friends and family
• Volunteer or get involved with a campaign or charity
• Enhance their creativity by sharing ideas, music, and art
• Meet and interact with others who share similar interests
• Communicate with teachers and fellow students

What’s Bad About Social Media

The flipside is that social media can be a hub for things like cyberbullying and questionable activities. Without meaning to, young people can share more online than they should.

Most teens:

• Post photos of themselves online or use their real names on their profiles
• Reveal their birthdates and interests
• Post their school name and the suburb where they live

This can make them easy targets for online predators and others who might mean them harm.
In fact, many teens say they have:

• Been contacted online by someone they didn’t know in a way that made them feel scared or uncomfortable
• Received online advertising that was inappropriate for their age
• Lied about their age to get access to websites

Concerns and Consequences

Besides problems like cyberbullying and online predators, young people can also face the possibility of a physical encounter with the wrong person. Many newer apps automatically reveal the poster’s location when they’re used. This can tell anyone exactly where to find the person using the app.

Photos, videos, and comments made online usually can’t be taken back once they’re posted. Even when a teenager thinks something has been deleted, it can be impossible to completely erase it from the Internet.

Posting an inappropriate photo can damage a reputation and cause problems years later – such as when a potential employer or university admissions officer does a background check. Sending a mean text, even as a joke, can be very hurtful to someone else and even taken as a threat.

Gaming Addiction?

Gaming addiction is a compulsive need to spend excessive amounts of time engaged in computer games such that other important areas of life (e.g., school work, friendships, chores, family outings, etc.) are neglected.  Studies have shown that teenagers and young people are particularly vulnerable to developing computer game addiction, as are individuals who are suffering from another mental health condition (e.g., anxiety, depression) or who have experienced isolation or significant changes in lifestyle

Signs and Symptoms of a Gaming Addiction:

Difficulty with sticking to limits your parents or you set for yourself on game-playing or losing track of time while game-playing e.g., intending to play for 15-20 minutes and then feeling surprised an hour or two later that you are still playing.

Spending excessive amounts of time playing computer games such that other important life tasks are neglected e.g., no longer spending time with friends because you would prefer to be playing computer games, not meeting deadlines at work because you are constantly on the net, not doing regular essential household chores because all your spare time is dedicated to playing games.

Changes in mood when not playing computer games e.g., an increase in irritability or decrease in mood when you are not logged on to social media.

A marked increase in distress or anxiety at the thought of not being able to go play games e.g., if the thought of going for half a day without playing computer games is unbearable

When other people think it is a problem. If your partner, parents or friends are constantly complaining that you spend too much time playing games then it may be time to consider making changes to your internet behaviour.

Why do people become addicted to computer games?

There are a number of theories outlining why people may develop a videogame addiction including the following:

Biochemical responses

There is some evidence to suggest that the reward centre in the brain may be activated when we use technology, resulting in ‘feel-good’ chemicals being released into the brain. Studies have shown that a higher level of these chemicals is released when we share personal information with others than when we talk about other topics. This may be one reason why computer games are so popular.

Managing unpleasant feelings

Computer games provide opportunities to escape from the demands and difficulties of everyday life including the unpleasant feelings that are a normal part of being human e.g., anxiety, loneliness, depression, stress, and boredom. Using the internet also allows us to waste time and procrastinate from completing difficult or unpleasant tasks, allowing further avoidance of unpleasant feelings.

Shyness/Image Management

Computer games present opportunities to establish new relationships through online gaming with other players and increase a person’s confidence in relating to others without the usual added social pressures. It allows an individual to present themselves however they choose and to be in control of their own image.

Other mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and procrastination can also leave you vulnerable to developing problematic computer game playing.

Do you think your child/teen is exhibiting symptoms of addiction

If you think your child or teen is exhibiting symptoms of addiction contact Flourishing Life Psychology today to make an appointment for a confidential assessment on 0433 905 239 or email.

Short-term effects of substance use can include:

• Distorted vision, hearing, and coordination
• Altered perceptions and emotions
• Impaired judgment, which can lead to accidents, drowning, and other risky behaviours like unsafe sex
• Bad breath
• Hangovers

Long-term effects include:

• Cirrhosis and cancer of the liver
• Loss of appetite
• Serious vitamin deficiencies
• Stomach ailments
• Heart and central nervous system damage
• Memory loss
• An increased risk of impotence
• High risk for overdosing

Risk Factors

Times of transition, such as the onset of puberty or a parents’ divorce, can lead young people to alcohol and drug use. Young people who have problems with self-control or low self-esteem are more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs. They may not believe that they can handle their problems and frustrations without using something to make them feel better.

Young people without a sense of connectedness with their families or who feel different in some way (appearance, economic circumstances, etc.) also might be at risk. Those who find it hard to believe in themselves desperately need the love and support of parents or other family members. In fact, not wanting to harm the relationships between themselves and the adults who care about them is the most common reason that young people give for not using alcohol and other drugs.

Recognising the Signs

Some common warning signs that your child may be using drugs and/or alcohol:

• The odour of alcohol or drugs
• Sudden change in mood or attitude
• Change in attendance or performance at school
• Loss of interest in school, sports, or other activities
• Discipline problems at school
• Withdrawal from family and friends
• Secrecy
• Association with a new group of friends and reluctance to introduce them to you
• Alcohol disappearing from your home
• Depression and developmental difficulties

It’s important not to jump to conclusions based on only one or two signs. Adolescence is a time of change, physically, socially, emotionally, and intellectually. This can lead to erratic behaviour and mood swings as young people try to cope with all of these changes.

If your child is using substances there will usually be a cluster of these signs, like changes in friends, behaviour, dress, attitude, mood, and grades. If you see a number of changes, look for all explanations by talking to your child, but don’t overlook substance abuse as a possibility.

Do you think your child/teen is exhibiting symptoms of addiction

If you think your child or teen is exhibiting symptoms of addiction contact Flourishing Life Psychology today to make an appointment for a confidential assessment on 0433 905 239 or email.

For example, because they are distractible, children with ADHD may: 

• Seem not to listen
• Have trouble paying attention
• Not follow directions well
• Need many reminders to do things
• Show poor effort in schoolwork

Because they are hyperactive, kids with ADHD may:

• Climb, jump, or roughhouse when it’s time to play quietly
• Be disorganized or messy
• Fidget and seem unable to sit still
• Rush instead of take their time
• Make careless mistakes

Because they are impulsive, kids with ADHD may: 

• Interrupt a lot
• Do things without thinking
• Do things they shouldn’t, even though they know better
• Have trouble waiting, taking turns, or sharing
• Have emotional outbursts, lose their temper, or lack self-control

At first, parents might not realize that these behaviours are part of ADHD. It may seem like a child is just misbehaving. ADHD can leave parents feeling stressed, frustrated, or disrespected.

Parents may feel embarrassed about what others think of their child’s behaviour. They may wonder if they did something to cause it. For children with ADHD, the skills that control attention, behaviour, and activity don’t come naturally. When parents learn about ADHD and which parenting approaches work best, they can help kids improve and do well.

What Parents Can Do

Parenting is as important as any other part of ADHD treatment. The way parents respond can make ADHD better… or worse.

Do you think your child/teen is exhibiting symptoms of ADHD?

If you think your child or teen is exhibiting symptoms of ADHD contact Flourishing Life Psychology today to make an appointment for a confidential assessment on 0433 905 239 or email.

Evolving needs

It’s natural for kids’ changing needs, anxieties, and identities to affect how they relate to one another. For example, toddlers are naturally protective of their toys and belongings, and are learning to assert their will. So if a baby brother or sister picks up the toddler’s toy, the older child may react aggressively. School-age kids often have a strong concept of fairness and equality, so might not understand why siblings of other ages are treated differently or feel like one child gets preferential treatment. Teenagers, on the other hand, are developing a sense of individuality and independence, and might resent helping with household responsibilities, taking care of younger siblings, or even having to spend time together. All of these differences can influence the way kids fight with one another.

Individual temperaments

Your children have individual temperaments including mood, disposition, and adaptability and their unique personalities play a large role in how well they get along. For example, one child may be more laid back and another might be easily upset or angered, Similarly, a child who is especially clingy and drawn to parents for comfort and love might be resented by siblings who see this and want the same amount of attention.

Special needs/sick kids

Sometimes, a child’s special needs due to illness or learning/emotional issues may require more parental time. Other kids may pick up on this disparity and act out to get attention or out of fear of what’s happening to the other child.

Role models

The way that parents resolve problems and disagreements sets a strong example for kids. If you and your spouse work through conflicts in a way that’s respectful, productive, and not aggressive, you increase the chances that your children will adopt those tactics when they run into problems with one another. If your kids see you routinely shout, slam doors, and loudly argue when you have problems, they’re likely to pick up those bad habits themselves.

Getting Professional Help

If you have concerns about family related conflicted it may be wise to seek the support of a therapist. Some warning signs may be:

• Is so severe that it’s leading to marital problems
• Creates a real danger of physical harm to any family member
• Is damaging to the self-esteem or psychological well-being of any family member
• May be related to other significant concerns, such as depression

Is your family/child/children experiencing family conflict?

If you think your child may be struggling with family conflict, please contact Flourishing Life Psychology today to make an appointment for a confidential assessment on 0433 905 239 or email.

Why Kids Bully

Kids bully for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they pick on kids because they need a victim, someone who seems emotionally or physically weaker, or just acts or appears different in some way to feel more important, popular, or in control. Although some bullies are bigger or stronger than their victims, that’s not always the case. Sometimes kids torment others because that’s the way they’ve been treated. They may think their behaviour is normal because they come from families or other settings where everyone regularly gets angry and shouts or calls each other names.

Signs of Bullying

Unless your child tells you about bullying or has visible bruises or injuries it can be difficult to work out if it’s happening. There are however, some warning signs. Parents might notice kids acting differently or seeming anxious, or not eating, sleeping well, or doing the things they usually enjoy. When kids seem moodier or more easily upset than usual, or when they start avoiding certain situations it might be because of a bully.

What Is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is the use of technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, or target another person. When an adult is involved, it may meet the definition of cyber-harassment or cyberstalking, a crime that can have legal consequences and involve jail time.

Sometimes cyberbullying can be easy to identify e.g. if your child shows you a text, tweet, or response to a status update on Instagram or Facebook that is harsh, mean, or cruel. Other acts are less obvious, like impersonating a victim online or posting personal information, photos, or videos designed to hurt or embarrass another person. Some kids report that a fake account, webpage, or online persona has been created with the sole intention to harass and bully.

Because many young people are reluctant to report being bullied, even to their parents, it’s impossible to know just how many are affected. But recent studies about cyberbullying rates have found that about 1 in 4 teens have been the victims of cyberbullying, and about 1 in 6 admit to having cyberbullied someone. In some studies, more than half of the teens surveyed said that they’ve experienced abuse through social and digital media.

Effects of Cyberbullying

No longer limited to schoolyards or street corners, modern-day bullying can happen at home as well as at school e.g. 24 hours a day. As long as kids have access to a phone, computer, or other device (including tablets), they are at risk.

Severe, long-term, or frequent cyberbullying can leave both victims and bullies at greater risk for anxiety, depression, and other stress-related disorders. In some rare but highly publicized cases, some kids have turned to suicide. Experts say that young people who are bullied and the bullies themselves, are at a higher risk for suicidal thoughts, attempts, and completed suicides.

The punishment for cyberbullies can include being suspended from school or kicked off of sports teams. Certain types of cyberbullying can be considered crimes.

Signs of Cyberbullying

Many kids and teens who are cyberbullied don’t want to tell a teacher or parent, often because they feel ashamed of the social stigma or fear that their computer privileges will be taken away at home.

Signs of cyberbullying vary, but may include:

• Being emotionally upset during or after using the Internet or the phone
• Being very secretive or protective of one’s digital life
• Withdrawal from family members, friends, and activities
• Avoiding school or group gatherings
• Slipping grades and “acting out” in anger at home
• Changes in mood, behavior, sleep, or appetite
• Wanting to stop using the computer or cellphone
• Being nervous or jumpy when getting an instant message, text, or email
• Avoiding discussions about computer or cellphone activities
• Websites and smartphones include parental control options that give parents access to their kids’ messages and online life.

Is your child suffering from bullying?

If you think your child may be struggling with bullying, please contact Flourishing Life Psychology today to make an appointment for a confidential assessment on 0433 905 239 or email.

Emotional abuse can be more difficult to identify because there are usually no outward signs of the abuse. Emotional abuse happens when yelling and anger go too far or when parents constantly criticise, call children names. threaten, or dismiss kids or teens until their self-esteem and feelings of self-worth are damaged. Emotional abuse can hurt and cause damage just as physical abuse does.

Sexual abuse is any type of sexual contact between an adult and anyone younger than 18; between a significantly older child and a younger child; or if one person overpowers another, regardless of age. If a family member sexually abuses another family member, this is called incest.

Neglect occurs when a child or teen doesn’t have adequate food, housing, clothes, medical care, or supervision. Emotional neglect happens when a parent doesn’t provide enough emotional support or deliberately and consistently pays very little or no attention to a child. This doesn’t mean that a parent doesn’t give a kid something he or she wants, like a new computer or a smartphone, but refers to more basic needs like food, shelter, and love.

Family violence can affect anyone. It can happen in any kind of family. Sometimes parents abuse each other, which can be hard for a child to witness. Some parents abuse their kids by using physical or verbal cruelty as a way of discipline.

Abuse doesn’t just happen in families. Bullying is a form of abusive behaviour. Bullying someone through intimidation, threats, or humiliation can be just as abusive as beating someone up. People who bully others may have been abused themselves. Being abused is no excuse for abusing someone else.

Abuse can also take the form of hate crimes directed at people just because of their race, religion, abilities, gender, or sexual orientation.

Recognising Abuse

Sometimes people have trouble recognising that they are being abused. Recognising abuse may be especially difficult for someone who has lived with it for many years. A person might think that it’s just the way things are and that there’s nothing that can be done. People who are abused might mistakenly think that it’s their fault for not doing what their parents tell them, breaking rules, or not living up to someone’s expectations.

Growing up in a family where there is violence or abuse can make a person think that is the right way or the only way for family members to treat each other. Somebody who has only known an abusive relationship might mistakenly think that hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, or angry name-calling are perfectly normal ways to treat someone when you’re angry.

Seeing parents treat each other in abusive ways might lead a child to think that’s OK in relationships. Abuse is not a typical or healthy way to treat people.

Why Does Abuse Happen?

If you’re one of the thousands of people living in an abusive situation, it can help to understand why some people abuse — and to realise that the abuse is not your fault. Sometimes abusers manipulate those they’re abusing by telling them they did something wrong or “asked for it” in some way when that’s not true.
There is no single reason why people abuse others. But some factors seem to make it more likely that someone may lose control, yell, hit, or hurt.

Sometimes, growing up in an abusive family can lead a person to think that example is a good way to discipline others. Others become abusive because they’re not able to manage their feelings properly. For example, someone who is unable to control anger or can’t cope with stressful personal situations (like the loss of a job or marriage problems) may lash out at others inappropriately. Also, drinking too much and/or drug use can make it difficult for some people to control their actions.

Certain types of personality disorders or mental illness might also interfere with someone’s ability to relate to others in healthy ways or cause problems with aggression or self-control. Of course, not everyone with a personality disorder or mental illness becomes abusive.

People who abuse can get help and learn how to take responsibility for how they act and learn ways to stop.

What Are the Effects of Abuse?

When people are abused, it can affect every aspect of their lives, especially self-esteem. How much harm is done often depends on the situation and sometimes on how severe the abuse is. Sometimes a seemingly minor thing can trigger a big reaction. Being touched inappropriately by a family member, or being told to keep secrets, for example, can be very confusing and traumatic.

Every family has arguments. Friends, couples, coaches, and teachers can get upset, frustrated, or have a bad day. We all go through difficult times when someone is stressed and angry. Punishments and discipline like removing privileges, grounding, or being sent to your room are common.

Yelling and anger can happen in lots of parent–teen relationships and in friendships but if punishments, arguments, or yelling go too far or last too long it can lead to stress and other problems.

Teens who are abused (or have been in the past) often have trouble sleeping, eating, and concentrating. They may not do well at school because they are angry or frightened, or feel like they just don’t care anymore.

Many people who are abused distrust others. They may feel a lot of anger toward other people and themselves, and it can be hard to make friends. Abuse is a significant cause of depression in young people. Some teens can only feel better by doing things that could hurt them like cutting or abusing drugs or alcohol. They might even attempt suicide.

It’s common for those who have been abused to feel upset, angry, and confused about what happened to them. They may feel guilty and embarrassed and blame themselves. But abuse is never the fault of the person who is being abused, no matter how much the abuser tries to blame others.

Abusers may manipulate somebody into keeping quiet by saying things like: “This is a secret between you and me,” or “If you ever tell anybody, I’ll hurt you or your mum,” or “You’re going to get in trouble if you tell”. This is the abuser’s way of making a person feel like nothing can be done so he or she won’t report the abuse.

People who are abused might have trouble getting help because it means they’d be reporting on someone they love, someone who may be wonderful much of the time and awful to them only some of the time.

People might be afraid of the consequences of reporting abuse, either because they fear the abuser or the family is financially dependent on that person. For reasons like these, abuse often goes unreported and many kids and teens don’t tell anyone what is going on.

What Should Someone Who’s Being Abused Do?

People who are being abused need to get help. Keeping the abuse a secret doesn’t protect anyone from being abused, it only makes it more likely that the abuse will continue.

People who are being abused often feel afraid, numb, or lonely. Getting help and support is an important first step toward feeling better.

Many teens who have experienced abuse find that painful emotions may linger even after the abuse stops. Working with a psychologist is one way to sort through the complicated feelings and reactions that being abused creates, and the process can help to rebuild feelings of safety, confidence, and self-esteem.

Has your child been abused?

If you think your child may have experienced abuse of any form, please contact Flourishing Life Psychology today to make an appointment for a confidential assessment on 0433 905 239 or email.

Situations that can cause such trauma include:

• Violent attacks e.g. rape
• Fire
• Physical or sexual abuse
• Acts of violence
• Natural or manmade disasters
• Car crashes
• Military combat (sometimes called “shell shock”)
• Witnessing another person go through these kinds of traumatic events
• Being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness

In some cases, PTSD can happen after repeated exposure to these events. Survivor guilt (feelings of guilt for having survived an event in which friends or family members died) also might contribute to PTSD.

What Are the Signs & Symptoms of PTSD?

People with PTSD have symptoms of stress, anxiety, and depression that include many of the following:

• Intrusive thoughts or memories of the event
• Unwanted memories of the event that keep coming back
• Upsetting dreams or nightmares
• Acting or feeling as though the event is happening again (flashbacks)
• Heartache and fear when reminded of the event
• Feeling jumpy, startled, or nervous when something triggers memories of the event
• Children may re-enact what happened in their play or drawings
• Avoidance of any reminders of the event
• Avoiding thinking about or talking about the trauma
• Avoiding activities, places, or people that are reminders of the event
• Being unable to remember important parts of what happened
• Negative thinking or mood since the event happened
• Lasting worries and beliefs about people and the world being unsafe
• Blaming oneself for the traumatic event
• Lack of interest in participating in regular activities
• Feelings of anger, shame, fear, or guilt about what happened
• Feeling detached or estranged from people
• Not being able to have positive emotions (happiness, satisfaction, loving feelings)
• Lasting feelings of anxiety or physical reactions
• Trouble falling or staying asleep
• Feeling cranky, grouchy, or angry
• Problems paying attention or focusing
• Always being on the lookout for danger or warning signs
• Easily startled

Signs of PTSD in teens are similar to those in adults, however PTSD in children can look a little different. Younger kids can show more fearful and regressive behaviors. They may also re-enact the trauma through play.

Symptoms usually begin within the first month after the trauma, but they may not show up until months or even years have passed. These symptoms often continue for years after the trauma. In some cases, they may ease and return later in life if another event triggers memories of the trauma. (In fact, anniversaries of the event can often cause a flood of emotions and bad memories).

PTSD also can come on as a sudden, short-term response (called acute stress disorder) to an event and can last many days or up to one month.

People with PTSD may not get professional help because they think it’s understandable to feel frightened after going through a traumatic event. Sometimes, people may not recognise the link between their symptoms and the trauma.

Who Gets PTSD?

Not everyone who goes through a traumatic event gets PTSD. The chances of developing it and how severe it is vary based on things like personality, history of mental health issues, social support, family history, childhood experiences, current stress levels, and the nature of the traumatic event.

Children and teens who go through the most severe trauma tend to have the highest levels of PTSD symptoms. The more frequent the trauma, the higher the rate of PTSD.

Studies show that people with PTSD often have atypical levels of key hormones involved in the stress response. Research indicates that they have lower-than-normal cortisol levels and other chemical levels, which play a key role in the body’s “fight-or-flight” reaction to sudden stress. (It’s known as “fight or flight” because that’s exactly what the body is preparing itself to do, to either fight off the danger or run from it).

Many people recover from a traumatic event after a period of adjustment, however, if your child or teen has experienced a traumatic event and has symptoms of PTSD for more than a month, it may be a sign to seek help.
Psychological therapy can help address symptoms of avoidance, intrusive and negative thoughts, and a depressed or negative mood. A therapist will work with your family to help you and your child or teen adjust to what happened and get back to living life.

Do you think your child may have PTSD?

If you think your child may be experiencing symptoms of PTSD, please contact Flourishing Life Psychology today to make an appointment for a confidential assessment on 0433 905 239 or email.